"Once upon a time, an egg hatched. But instead of being a bird, it was a Pettyartist. The birds got mad at her, but then she was saved by a wizard. They then flew off into Hogwarts where Pettyartist was raised as a Ravenclaw (since she was almost a bird) until she found her true calling was Hufflepuff. The end."
Remember that episode of Johnny Bravo when he meets a girl on the internet and she turns out to be an antelope
Even better is the one where he has to pretend to be this moose’s husband and they are both pretending to be elephants in order to keep her safe in a witness protection program from a mob run by gazelles.